Ladies and Gentleman and others, this was not my finest hour buying this. I think I must have been at a party with Walter White and Jesse Pinkman when this pinged up on my phone. Either that, or I was looking at the pictures through the bottom of a Vodka bottle. Its supposed to be a 1983 Ford Granada 3.0 Manual........it needs a fair bit of love or send it sideways round your local stock car circuit.

Body - Mk2 Granada. Solid inner wings, boot floor. Outer floors where it meets sill lip have been plated. Strong enough, but by no means beautiful. Needs a repair on front subframe mount on one side. Evidence of a bit filler on lower quarters and the bonnet has so much plop on the front edge, its a two man job to lift it. The blind African spray painter has been busy again....this time in a hurricane. I think they greased up the windows and painted everything else. Bumpers are as straight as the M25. Some of the chrome window trim is on, some is in the boot.

Mechanics - Believe it or not we are told this runs and we will get a tune out of it, before the next victim is as mad as me and buys it. Rare manual box, but if its as good as the rest of the car. it will probably whine like the number 29 bus going down a hill

Interior - Wipe your feet on the way out.......need I say more.

Wheels - This car actually came with standard steels but its so rough it really deserved these carlos fandango monstrosities we have put on it. Tyres are Ditchfinder pros and are probably as old as your grannies false teeth.

Please dont be as stupid as me and buy this. If your mad enough to come and see it your more than welcome. If you phone up and ask "Will it drive home" im sending you straight to the local A&E for a check up from the neck up.

You have been warned.